i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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