i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize