none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
