there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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