I'm drive I can fine osifer
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
