did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
