if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just had sex bonerless
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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