she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
