omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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