I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
