So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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