she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize