just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
