So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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