Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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