therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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