Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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