trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
