She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
