Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
