I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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