I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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