Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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