The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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