I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
