I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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