If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize