Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
