I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize