my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize