you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
