That's intense
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize