I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
