drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thus making me awesome and them whores
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
