Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
