; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
