just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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