Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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