Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
