she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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