what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i came on her dog
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
