I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize