Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
