It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
