I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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