North Korea, Best Korea!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
