I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
