I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
