He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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