He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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