sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
