Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
