She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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