Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
