If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
