dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize