I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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