At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
