I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
