I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
