Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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