She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
