then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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