He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
