The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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